Matthew 25

In reading the parable of the talents, I particularly noticed that the talents were distributed -

"...every man according to his several ability..." (New Testament | Matthew 25:15)

To the servant that was given less than the first, it did not matter. To him the Lord declared as the first -

"...Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things..." (New Testament | Matthew 25:23)

It is obvious that all men were not born equal. This past weekend I spoke in stake conference. Much of this chapter falls in line with the subject I spoke on. So I decided that I will blog those thoughts this morning -

Stake Conference General Session
February 2011

I have had some concern as I prepared my thoughts for this morning but I have continued to feel impressed that this is what the Lord would have me address. My hope is to be sensitive and bring peace and understanding, not discourage or offend.

Therefore, I plead for the Spirit to be with each of us in this conference this morning, and in such a manner to fulfill that prophecy of Isaiah -

"Thy watchmen shall lift up the voice; ...[and] they shall see eye to eye..." (Old Testament | Isaiah 52:8)

In times past, I have mentioned my eldest daughter Analese. Analese would be consider by society as handicapped or one with special needs. From birth, Analese brought with her obvious developmental and behavioral challenges. It was apparent from birth that it seemed as if some wires had been crossed. In an effort to be brief, she was unlike typical children, in that she was slow in her development, she would sleep very little at night but would take intermittent cat naps during the day, and probably the most significant was the she would outwardly rebel with nurturing and kindness, usually by becoming upset, emotional, and destructive.

As time went on, Terri and I began to realize that she seemed to function much better in a very structured setting. A setting that required one-on-one supervision, a great deal of attention, with limited emotional or nurturing kindness.

I can't help but ask, what mother, by her inherent nature, can restrain nurturing and love for her child, and replace it with non-emotional structure and objectiveness. And in doing so, neglect the other siblings in an effort to appease the required attention of the one. This was the condition in our household for many years. As a result, I acknowledge the Terri took the majority of the burden and abuse.

When Analese was around 10 or 11 years old, we were fortunate in that Analese was accepted into a special new program at Primary Children's Hospital where doctors from a full range of disciplines collaborated in a full-time analysis of children with special needs and behaviors, all in an effort to evaluate, determine, and provide corrective recommendations for the child. As we were introduced to the program director, we were told that this evaluation and possible corrections generally took about a week, very seldom more than two weeks, and never more than three.

I must confess that during that first week that our daughter was away from home, our family was able for the first time experience what it was like to have a normal family life. A week later we returned expecting the doctors to report that there was little wrong with my daughter and that maybe, with a little more patience and love as parents, everything could be easily corrected.

As we met in the director's office, the first thing the director said, to our surpries was: "There is no way that your daughter can live and function in a normal family environment. " And then he commented that he didn't have any idea how we had done it for all these years. I will never forget the tears that flowed from Terri's eyes as years of guilt and feelings of inadequacy had now somewhat been justified.

Avoiding too much detail, I will summarize that after my daughter had remained under evaluation for the entire three weeks, the doctors were unable to provide definitive conclusions of her conditions.

Not long afterward, we made a difficult decision to place our daughter in a more structured setting outside the home which over the years has proven to have been the best decision for her development. She has never been happier.

When she turned about 18 years old, with the advancement of technology and genetic research, it was discovered she was born with a rare genetic disorder. A newly recognized syndrome named after the founding doctors, Smith-Magenis syndrome. As the symptoms related to this syndrome have become more understood, we have commented many times that our daughter could be the poster child. She fits almost every symptom to the "t". She is one in a million - well statistically, one in 25,000. We now know that she cannot help who she is, and in many ways, how she behaves. All because she is missing a short little genetic arm on the 17 chromosome.

I share this personal experience with you for a reason. Shortly after I had been called into the stake presidency, President Brewster asked that President White and I join him as we interviewed each of the high councilors with their wives. I thought I knew these high councilors very well in that I had served with them on the council for the previous four years. It was during these interviews that each high councilor and his wife opened up and shared some significant challenges or trial that was going on in their lives varying, from health issues to economical challenges, as well as family matters. In each case, I must confess I was surprised and overcome with compassion.

Though I thought I had been dealt some difficult cards. Each of these brethren and their wives also had been dealt some very difficult cards. I remember, as I heard of each of these challenges - quietly saying to myself, "I choose mine, thank you".

When my children were growing up, when they were frustrated with what they thought were supposed parental injustices, they would typically complain - "that's not fair!". My response was always, "life's not fair". They hated that answer. But even so, it was true. Life is not fair nor has it ever been.

In fact, the unfairness of life is part of God's plan for His children. The Lord himself seems to take full responsibility and blame for life's unfairness as He told Moroni -

"...I give unto men weakness..." (Book of Mormon | Ether 12:27)

...suggesting that he acknowledges there is unfairness, and He is the giver of such weaknesses.

I believe term "weakness" may come in many forms - weakness in abilities, attractions, addictions, limitations, susceptibilities, living conditions, and syndromes. Even differences from what some may consider to be normal may be considered by some, a weakness. I also believe weaknesses associated with this life may also come in the form of accidents, sicknesses, diseases, trials and tribulations, and even death.

That very statement that "...I give unto men weakness..." suggests that not only is there an overall plan of salvation, but there is also an individualized plan of salvation for every person. Lehi taught that in this great plan of salvation -

"...there is an opposition in all things..." (Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 2:11)

Not only is there opposition but for the success of the plan that -

"...it must needs be, that there is an opposition..." (Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 2:11)

Or in other words, in God's plan for the salvation if His children, everything must have its opposites -

Therefore there must be those that are rich and those that are poor, some are short and others tall, some supposedly smarter than others, some woman that wear size 2 and others that wear size 14, some individuals may seem more attractive than others, even those that have hair and those that are losing their hair. There are those that are healthy and those that are infirmed, others that experience differing attractions, and those that may be susceptible to addictions.

In His plan it is as if in a real sense, each of us, much like Adam, have also partaken of the fruit of the Tree of knowledge of good and evil in that we also have come to know and experience, good from evil, and this ever present opposition in all things. Is it any wonder the Lord wisely warned -

"I will greatly multiply thy sorrow..." (Pearl of Great Price | Moses 4:22)

The Lord explains to Moroni why His plan was designed so, why everything has its opposites, and why He gave men their weaknesses, so -

"...that they may be humble..." (Book of Mormon | Ether 12:27)

For it is in our humility that we choose to come unto Him. But in our weaknesses, we must understand that if God gave men their weaknesses, then such weaknesses cannot in themselves be sinful. The very nature that we have weaknesses does not make us evil. It is what we do with our weaknesses that determines whether we sin or not. Of a man that had been born with the weakness of blindness, the disciples asked the Savior -

"... Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?
3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him." (New Testament | John 9:2 - 3)

Elder George Q. Morris related that -

"The Prophet Joseph Smith one time said, when someone had remarked that somebody had affliction because of his sins, that it is an unhallowed statement to make - [for] afflictions come to all. . . ." (George Q. Morris, CR, October 1958, pp. 70-72.)

Again we need to come to understand that weaknesses come from God for the purpose "that the works of God should be made manifest", and with that begin to come to grips with the fact, that such God given weaknesses are not necessarily fair. Again, if all was fair, there would be no opposition in all things.

But even so, God's commandments though are consistent and universal to all for he said that even in our weaknesses -

"we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them" (Pearl of Great Price | Abraham 3:25)

"...for the Lord covenanteth with none save it be with them that repent and believe in his Son, who is the Holy One of Israel." (Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 30:2)

Sometimes weaknesses, or differences, or "oppositions" so to speak, may have been given to special individuals, not necessarily for their own growth and salvation, but for the growth and benefit of others with whom they associate as may be the case with my daughter.

With these weaknesses, if we are obedient to His commandments, or in other words, as the Lord said -

"...if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." (Book of Mormon | Ether 12:27)

Suggesting that we may not necessarily have the capacity on our own to make such weaknesses strong. He tells us if we humble ourselves, "He" will make weak things become strong. And even in His promise to make weak things strong, I don't believe He is necessarily suggesting that "being made strong" means that such weaknesses will go away. I believe He is saying that our ability to deal with and master the weakness increases within us.

or in other words -

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." (New Testament | 1 Corinthians 10:13)

In this past recent General Conference, President Boyd K. Packer specifically addressed the addiction to pornography as well as same gender attraction in the which he said -

"Some suppose that they were preset and cannot overcome what they feel are inborn temptations toward the impure and unnatural. Not so!" (Boyd K. Packer, Cleansing the Inner Vessel, General Conference - Oct 2010)

Some have thought that statement to be controversial. That Elder Packer was suggesting that humans do not come preset with weaknesses or differences. I want you to know that I sustain President Packer as a prophet, seer, and revelator.

I hope I am not misinterpreting his teaching, but I don't believe he was suggesting that we are not born with any weaknesses or differences. My daughter came preset with a genetic weakness.

Nor do I believe that he is suggesting that "to overcome" necessarily means to completely change or reverse ourselves temporally, physically or genetically. I believe he was teaching that we all have the capacity to overcome or master our weaknesses and differences by obeying God's commandments.

If you approach a recovered alcoholic, he will tell you he is and will always be an alcoholic but has come to master and overcome his addiction or weakness. The Lord told his disciples -

"In your patience possess ye your souls." (New Testament | Luke 21:19)

The scriptural footnote suggests possess means "master" or in other words, in patience we master our souls.

In my mind, self-mastery or as President Packer suggested "to overcome" means to learn to master or control oneself. It does not necessarily mean to me, complete reversal or correction.

There are some weaknesses that may be harder to master and control than others suggesting that -
"...this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting." (New Testament | Matthew 17:21)
There are some that would claim that because of my nature or my God given weaknesses, God's commandments do not necessarily apply to me or maybe to one of my family members. It just isn't fair. That's true - it is not fair. But even in all its unfairness the Lord still has made it clear -

"...I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance..." (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 1:31)

When parents defends such, I am reminded of the words of the Savior -

"... he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." (New Testament | Matthew 10:37)

My daughter came with preset genetic characteristics. Even though she still possesses natural desires and attractions, she will never marry. Because of that, Terri and I will never have grandchildren from her. Surely that is not fair - but again, it is life and life is not fair. Yet I can testify that I know it is right and all will be right in the end!

In all our weaknesses, we must follow the admonition of the Savior to check ourselves, that is to "take up our cross" as He explained-
JST Matt. 16:26 "...for a man to take up his cross, is to deny himself all ungodliness, and every worldly lust, and keep my commandments." (New Testament:Matthew 16:24)
We are taught that -

"...men are, that they might have joy." (Book of Mormon | 2 Nephi 2:25)

But we are also taught -

"... for in this world your joy is not full..." (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 101:36)

Our hope in this life is to experience in some small measure His gift of joy. That gift comes only through self-mastery and obedience to the commandments.

"Therefore, care not for the body, neither the life of the body; but care for the soul, and for the life of the soul.
38 And seek the face of the Lord always, that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life." (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 101:37 - 38)

That is, have patience in this life, keep His commandments, and you shall have eternal life or God's life with a fullness of Joy.

With the permission of my wife Terri, she received counsel in her patriarchal blessing that reads –

“…you must ever remember that you live in an imperfect world with imperfect people. Should they disappoint you, do not be discouraged…”

What wonderful counsel. That advise would be appropriate in everyone’s patriarchal blessings. Over the years, I have wondered if that counsel was more in reference to me than anyone else.

There have been times when Terri has been frustrated such that I've heard her quietly, whispering under her breath, reminding herself. -

"Imperfect people, imperfect world, imperfect people, imperfect world."

Since the Lord Himself planned and created this imperfect world with imperfect people, we should be very careful in judging what we may consider to be the imperfect people in this imperfect world. The Lord said -

"For of him unto whom much is given much is required..." (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 82:3)

That being said, the opposite must then hold true - unto whom less is given, less is required. It is not up to us to judge. We must be patient and tolerant in the weaknesses of others. Like Nephi, we must also come to -

"... know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, [we] do not know [or understand] the meaning of all things." (Book of Mormon | 1 Nephi 11:17)

With my daughter, Analese, we have learned over the years that the key to successful Christmas morning of opening gifts is more a function of quantity, than quality.

With her, it has always been a fast progression of opening present after presents with little space in between to reflect much excitement or gratitude. It was a few years ago, as she opened a small gift from her mother she stopped and emotionally broke down into tears for a surprising extended period of time. It was then she retrieved from a small box, a new CTR ring. One that Terri had found to replace one that she had lost sometime before. To tell you the truth, I was surprised and in disbelief with her reaction. I don't think I had ever seen her demonstrate this type of emotion.

I must confess that that Christmas morning, she was not the one that was handicapped. It was my own judgment that was handicapped for I would have never guessed or even expected that she would ever react in such a manner.

The Lord has said -

"All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself..." (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 93:30)

That is, to act within their sphere or capacity of our own God given weaknesses. I believe that when we get to the other side, what we may think now is black and white may be a lot different when all facts and conditions are known. We need to leave judgment to the Lord.

For -

"...I, the Lord, will judge all men according to their works, according to the desire of their hearts." (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 137:9)

…in other words, according to their capacity, their God given weaknesses, and the desires of their hearts. The Savior's commandment to all us is simply -

"...love one another; as I have loved you..." (New Testament | John 13:34)

Just as he explained to the prophet Hosea -

"For I desired mercy, and not sacrifice..." (Old Testament | Hosea 6:6)

...suggesting that to Him, love and mercy is much a greater law than keeping religious ceremonies and sacrifices.

While in Liberty Jail, afflicted because of the weaknesses men, the Lord lovingly said to the Prophet Joseph -

"My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
8 And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high..." (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 121:7 - 8)

Which then lead to the counsel -

"...know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 122:7)

As we may at times become discouraged in our earthly weaknesses and challenges, may we recall one of God's greatest questions -

"The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?" (Doctrine and Covenants | Section 122:8)