2 Samuel 14 - 17

Parents generally love their children and want the best for them. They understand good choices and good behavior. But sadly, many times their counsel tends to suggest "do what I say, not what I do". Many times children will try to justify their inappropriate behavior and actions with the excuse that their parents had done the same. The truthfulness of this reasoning can be very painful for a parent. I kind of sense this with David and his relationship with his son, Amnon.

It is my understanding that Amnon was the eldest of David's sons and most likely was heir to the throne. David had a daughter by another wife named Tamar making Amnon and Tanon brother and sister. We read that -

"...Amnon the son of David loved her.
2 And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her." (Old Testament 2 Samuel 13:1 - 2)

It doesn't take long to realize that this vexation with Tamar was lust not love. After some plotting with his friend jonadab, they figure out if Amnon plays sick, they can get Tamar to come in to take care of him. When she comes to care for him, Amnon entices her -

"...Come lie with me, my sister." (Old Testament 2 Samuel 13:11)

She strongly resists answering -

"...Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly." (Old Testament 2 Samuel 13:12)

Whether she just wants to protect her innocence or that she really cares for Amnon, she suggests -

"...I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee." (Old Testament 2 Samuel 13:13)

The reader immediately knows it is lust and not love for Amnon -

"...would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her." (Old Testament 2 Samuel 13:14)

And sadly, as is in all cases after the conquer and satisfaction -

"...Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone." (Old Testament 2 Samuel 13:15)

This is a very disturbing and sad story as -

"...Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying." (Old Testament 2 Samuel 13:19)

But what is just as sad is that -

"...when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth..." (Old Testament 2 Samuel 13:21)

But doesn't seem to do anything about it. At least nothing is even suggested in the least that David did anything. I think I know why. What could David do? As soon as he put any pressure on Amnon, I'm sure Amnon would remind David that he did almost the same thing with Bath-sheba. What a terrible experience this must have been for David. I know - I can think of several occasions that I have been less than exemplary to my children.

I think the simple lesson here is to live by the same counsel that you would give to your children.

"O be wise; what can I say more?" (Book of Mormon Jacob 6:12)